Staring down the Behind-The-Door

I am told that as a young child I was terrified of cracks.

Also, one handsome son of a bitch.

I don't remember being afraid of cracks, but I damn well remember what would've made me afraid of them - the Behind-The-Door. I saw the Behind-The-Door, as I'd always recalled it, in a 1970's Sesame Street animated short. I didn't remember the details well - there was a woman lying on a bed, and some cracks in the wall above her bed took the form of a camel. Then they went to see something called the Behind The Door, which was a sort-of human face made out of cracks. It presumably lived behind a door. And it was absolutely pants-shittyingly scary.

I know I saw this once all the way through, and possibly a second time. (it is likely that I ran screaming from the room that second time.) This was not exactly a life-ruining event, but it was the gold medalist in the scariest-thing-I-ever-saw-as-a-kid olympics, something even my family only remembered in the vaguest terms.

So the 70's passed on, and the 80's, and the 90's...these were not times to dwell upon or investigate obscure pop culture ephemera that would in all likelihood turn out to be disappointingly mundane when discovered.

But here we are in the age of Google, an age where the voracious nostalgiavore is a beast of limitless hunger. I'm not sure what exactly sparked this, but in the late 00's I went looking online to see if it had ever resurfaced.

I learned a great number of things. Not only had it not resurfaced, but it had suspiciously not resurfaced - seemed like all the other Sesame Street cartoons of the day that freaked people out were easy to find, compiled by nostalgic fans, and had great reverent essays written about them. But the bit with the Behind-The-Door wasn't on DVD reissues, it wasn't on TV reruns, it was just gone. The one youtube link that promised the Crack Monster cartoon turned out to be a Rickroll.

While I was disappointed, I was enormously relieved to find I was not alone in that. For the first time I found people who'd not only seen it but had been as traumatized by it as I was. Tail O' The Rat was that site, and a strange drama unfolded there.

No video would be resurfacing, but somebody had seen it, and recently. He'd been contacted by a mysterious stranger who had it on his laptop and agreed to meet up in some diner in god-knows-where so our correspondent could view it, but not copy it. This stranger had been forbidden to share it under terms he clearly took pretty seriously. The correspondent's account of what he saw was shiveringly in line with what I remembered. He even provided a few sketches of what he saw, all of which was creepily familiar. But that's all, still no seeing the video for myself.

Anyway, years pass, and I check in once in a while to see if there's anything new - once or twice a year, nothing like my tireless keeping up with Braindance's new album. Just this past week I looked in, and...it had been found. It hadn't just been found, it had been posted. It was Out There. Apparently just before Christmas of last year, somebody had anonymously emailed it to the lost media wikia.

So of course I wasted no time in watching the damn thing.

It did not disappoint. In fact, what I want to emphasize here that it is a superbly constructed horror scene - that it is so constructed largely by accident by well-meaning animators who apparently wanted to emphasize something called "divergent thinking", doesn't make it any less so.

View it for yourself on youtube.

Our POV character's lying in bed, bored, rainy day outside, and there are cracks in the wall above her bed.

Hey, don't be a snob. At least the house is well-built enough that staying inside keeps her out of the rain.

She starts to imagine that the cracks take the form of a camel, and they go on adventures together. That all sounds just fine. But between the incessant music - lazy, free-formish keyboard doing a bit of a walking bassline and a slightly more excitable, dreamy soprano sax - and the half-spoken, half-sung narration like this Sigourney Weaver sound-alike can't make up her mind, we're starting off on a slightly unsettling note, and when we see that camel...well, Crack Camel's a little weird.

It's certainly a crack something.

FEAR LEVEL: 2.

This camel's a little bit freaky. But it's immediately friendly and subservient - gets down to allow itself to be rode by the me, the girl. (I kept thinking of the girl as myself, because she is the POV character after all.) It's a little reassuring that the first thing I meet in this slightly trippy otherworld is one that's happy to be my friend.

FEAR LEVEL: 1.

Now we go on our journey, but here's where things get really weird. Here we are in a 3-dimensional world - we accept that what we see on TV is 2-dimensional, especially in cartoons. As long as they stay 2-dimensional, nothing's weird. But Crack Camel's space-warping de-materialization adventure does not travel in two dimensions. Crack Camel smashes itself and its rider into one dimension, then down to a point that disappears entirely, before re-materializing elsewhere, using the same process in reverse.

Thank you for riding Crack Camel Interdimensional Express, where the souls of the screaming damned are only an "Oh, stewardess!" away!

FEAR LEVEL: 4

Okay, this does not look safe. I DO NOT WANT TO BE SMASHED DOWN TO FEWER DIMENSIONS THAN I LIVE IN. But I guess it works for them, they get through without incident, and they immediately meet Crack Hen.

I feel kinda bad for Crack Hen, because she's the most likely to end up in a casserole.

Crack Hen is also friendly, and at any rate, probably harmless. I'm up here on a camel. What's she going to do, peck at the camel's ankles? If Crack Hen pisses off Crack Camel, Crack Camel's going to fuck her up. I don't think Crack Hen's going to give me anything I have to worry about up here.

FEAR LEVEL: 2

So we do the interdimensional transport again, and we meet Crack Monkey. I do not like this monkey.

FUCK THIS MONKEY.

FEAR LEVEL: 5

Look at this goddamn guy. He's crazily overdrawn in a way that Crack Hen and Crack Camel aren't, and he's either sitting on an invisible chair or he's defying his own centre of gravity. Then when he talks he waves his arms around like a maniac. Crack Monkey's one saving grace is that he too wants to be friends, and is excitedly glad to see us. I still don't like the guy, but he's not exactly threatening.

FEAR LEVEL: 4

Not threatening, that is, until he suggests that he knows of one more friend we could make in Crackworld, one more, behind the door...

FEAR LEVEL: 8

NO GODDAMN WAY, MONKEY.

And you know what? That fucking monkey knows exactly what he's doing. Look at this smile. This is not the smile of somebody who's glad to see you and wants to be friends. This is the smile of somebody with a van that says FREE CANDY on the side.

Eat shit, monkey. Eat my shit.

Even if I'd never seen this as a kid, I'd be thinking, WHAT THE FUCK don't go behind that door, it's worse than under the bed! This is a terrible idea. You're not going to find anything friendly behind the door! And we sure as shit do not.

We meet again, once-promising little redhaired boy! I see my damage has been done!

FEAR LEVEL: 10

Things go crazy at this point. Crack Master up there doesn't get a casual reveal - they smash-cut to a whole screen of him, and this flute comes in and this flute just freaks out with this panicked trill. This is what horror movies call a stinger - shock to look at, shock to hear, just there to scare the shit out of you.

And it's not like the terror just drops off after that scare. In the next fifteen seconds, we're assailed with a dense cacophony of music, narration and activity that even now I have trouble figuring out what's going on in the chaos. No wonder 70's-me found it terrifying - it scares the crap out of you and keeps going at that pitch, which even horror movies tend to back off from. Even Jason Voorhees moves on after jumping out at you and sticking a knife in your eye. Crack Master just hangs there on the wall, trying to be scary, while faux-Sigourney's speaking for everybody and that flute player is having a flutefit. In fifteen seconds, Crack Master tries to look extra frightening - which he totally succeeds at.

Behold, extremely young, impressionable children: the true face of evil.

FEAR LEVEL: ALL THE FEAR

He succeeds so well that the plaster breaks apart entirely and drops into a pile onto the floor, revealing house-construction shit behind it.

If only they'd built out of ICF.

FEAR LEVEL: RUNNING OUT INTO TRAFFIC

There's a minor moral here - that if you try to be mean you'll destroy yourself, or something? - but I would never have picked up on it as a kid. All I saw was the scariest face I'd ever seen, that made itself scarier, and then scarily broke into pieces revealing a hole in the wall that's a hundred times more scary than if me and Crack Camel just walked up to it and thought, hey look, hole in the wall.

Everybody's like, Too bad so sad about the guy who destroyed himself trying to be mean, and go back home to their respective crack dimensions. We're left with the possibility that should we have another rainy day where we can't get out of the house and we have to lie around using our stupid imaginations, we'll go and see the cracks again someday. FUCK YOU I WILL NOT.

And neither did a generation of kids. So far as I've learned, "Cracks" aired eleven times before vanishing, though the reason for its disappearance are up for speculation. The 80's crack epidemic was a few years off yet, and while I can see a segment like this being irreparably tainted by the changing meaning of the word, it still leaves a few years. Maybe the prospect of seeing this girl living in this dilapidated house, plaster just falling off the walls, was too depressing? Maybe they learned that holy shit, kids are not relating to this like we wanted them to? Given that the video was provided anonymously, we may never get an answer.

But what impresses me about this now is how it uses that slow ratcheting of inspiring dread, and easing off, earning your trust again, bringing in one increasingly unsettling thing after another but making us go along with it until we're in deep enough that we have to see it through to the end, even if we don't like where it's going. If there's any movie scene I'd compare it to, it's this that comes to mind:

And even that one at least gives you a moment to change your pants, it doesn't keep throwing guys with head-shears at you.

So, you heard it here - Exorcist III, more scary-shit restraint than 70's Sesame Street.

The Cavalcade Of Schlock is dead, long live...something? Else?

Decided to kick this up again. Basically minus the movie reviews, that's what letterboxd is for. No wonder I was rarely ever here.

Trying to figure out what to change the name to. "The Cavalcade Of Schlock" was my old, geocities-age movie-review website, dating back to when there weren't a lot of them, at least not so many focused on genre movies. Time went on and I lost interest and geocities itself went the way of the wax cylinder.

Got an email. Some other group of people out there with similar schlocky interests had their own site called The Cavalcade Of Schlock. It may even still be up and running. Somebody there reached out to me and half-apologized, half-"well isn't that funny!"'d.

I wasn't sure how to respond. It felt like they were using my name, but not like how I'd feel if there was some other "Tyrannorabbit" out there. It's not like the name "Cavalcade Of Schlock" was something I was still using, and it's not like it was something that ever did (or ever would) make me money. Hell, when people mentioned it to me, not a goddamn one of them got the name right. That is not the mark of a good name.

So I figure, they're welcome to it, I'm happy to leave it behind. It's all cool.

But what am I going to call this now? Needs another name. I'll sleep on it. I've tentatively tried and failed to change it. I'm still re-figuring this out.

--------------

Oh, neat thing today. For the first time since Enemies Of Reality in 2003, I took my first listen to a new album by laying back in the dark and listening to it on headphones. Why this one? It's been long awaited.

Braindance's 2002 album Redemption may not be the best album of its day but it was the one that, more than any other, felt specifically tailored just for me, and in the years since more than any other album of the 21st century, it just feels like mine. I have never known anybody I would feel confident recommending this band to. And that's okay, I don't much evangelize on these things.

A couple of years later, they announce that they're working on a new album, Master Of Disguise. I'm excited. They work on this for a while, and I check their site about weekly for updates. In 2006, their site promises that it'll be ready by fall. Fall came and went. In early 2007, their site slightly amends that comment, saying it'll be ready by THAT fall. That fall came and went. I'm still checking that site about weekly. In early 2008, the statement on their site now says guaranteed to be in your hands by the end of the year.

I got in touch with them - not to nag, but to ask that when the album is ready, that I can get an interview for a piece in Unrestrained!, the magazine I was writing for at the time. Whichever member it was who wrote back was into it. All good.

End of the year came and went, and any promise of a release date is removed from the site. At this point they're basically just saying, "Working on it!"

So, that was early 2009. Every week I checked that site. Adrian died - Unrestrained! went with him. 2010, 2011, 2012...every week. No update.

It occurs to me that these non-materializing albums that actually get titles are way more heartbreaking than the ones that don't.

2013, 2014, every week, until HOLY SHIT.

Site's revamped, album's ready. I immediately drop a stupid amount of money on that CD, the kind of money I do not ever spend on CD's and haven't in at least ten years. CD finally gets here. As you might imagine, I'm pretty excited about it, but trying to keep my expectations down to earth.

Anyway...it made a very good first impression, on headphones in the dark, happy to say. Kudos to Braindance for not losing the magic. I still don't know who I would try to turn on to this. But maybe that's a good sign.

Farscape alignment chart!

ALIENS VS. PREDATOR: REQUIEM (2007)

I think people have treated these “vs.” movies as if their potential for awesomeness was in the neighbourhood of the awesomeness-potential of their parents, perhaps even added together; and I think we all know now (except in the most stalwart corners of our fanboy hearts) that it just isn't true. I bet I could come up with a fairly convincing though totally made-up mathematical formula to describe the maximum possible awesomeness of such a project, based upon the demonstrated and potential awesomenesses of their parents. But I'm not going t-

Oh, what the hell, here goes. Where VAP refers to the “Vs. movie Awesomeness Potential”, P1AP and P2AP (and so on) refer to the Awesomeness Potential of their parents, and P1AD and P2AD (and so on) refer to the Demonstrated Awesomeness of their parents, and N refers to the number of parent franchises :

VAP = ([P1AP + P2AP...] + [P1AD + P2AD...]) / N-squared

In other words, thank fuck there wasn't a Freddy vs. Jason vs. Pinhead vs. Ash.

Okay, look, I'm not gonna tell you this is a great movie. I don't even feel right saying it's a good movie. It doesn't stack up to any of the Alien solo movies, or the first Predator, and is unlikely to get the kind of sentimental fondness Predator 2 got (the kind where I know it's crap anyway). But while it pains my heart a little say this, my head knows that this is probably about as good as an Aliens vs. Predator movie is gonna get. Its VAD is about as close to its VAP as we can hope for.

The first AVP was lousy pretty well across the board; stupid setup (modern earth, what?), stupid location (Antarctica, but...underground where nothing looks like Antarctica, and in a self-transforming giant temple no less), stupid PG-13, stupid mythology where the Predators were Aztec gods, stupid pro wrestling moves from the Predators. I can't remember an upside to that movie. Wait, I remember the Predator nailing the Alien queen in the head with a spear. That was pretty badass. Two seconds of upside.

In some regards, AVP:R is an overcorrection. The setting is anything but fantastical, and at least this time it's easy to accept as long as you swallow its first few minutes' conceit that the Predator-Alien hybrid (which the movie wastes no time in showing in its full form) somehow manages to crash its ship near a small Colorado town, and there's a regular Predator in pursuit of it. It doesn't keep hitting you with new bits of “Oh come on, I don't believe that this movie is set in this time and place” that the first one did. It's also a hell of a lot more gruesome, sometimes hilariously so (lots of guys lose large portions of their heads), sometimes...ugh, horrible.

I don't remember any human character in AVP having even a single dimension, but the lead characters here mostly have exactly one at most. Some of them even have to share. We've got directionless slacker who could only be made less miserable by the arrival bloodthirsty aliens, we've a prodigal son returns type guy, we've got a military mom who just got home from The Shit...you can see there's some overlap here. There's a hot blonde who really likes the slacker for undisclosed reasons, a sheriff that the townspeople talk to as if he were some sort of dirty foreigner for undisclosed reasons (other than that he appears to be slightly brown), a group of bullies – bullies! For real! Will they get raped in the face by horrible monsters? A script with some personality to it and a cast with some seasoned character actors could've gone a long way in this movie, but couldn't we say that about anything? This script is so lazy it brings in a couple of potheads and doesn't even try wringing any humour out of their presence. In fact, this whole movie is noticeably humourless, and not to its credit. It's easy to respect a stark horror movie that chooses to go this route, but this is a “vs.” movie – it should be fun above anything.

At least this movie treats is titular creatures with a little respect (and surprisingly little CGI). The Predator is followed through his entire presence in the movie without some human audience surrogate accompanying it (and saying things like “Oh, I see...you're tracking it!”) as it wordlessly goes on its investigation and hunt. The Aliens look great and after five movies of metal corridors it's refreshing and a little unsettling to see them wreak mayhem in such mundane, homey surroundings. And the Predator-Alien hybrid is a piece of work; it's a good gross monster, and after the stasis in AVP, the Aliens here return to being a little more bizarre with each movie. This one doesn't even bother with the eggs; it impregnates you, several chestbursters at a time, by puking them down your throat.

That leads into how this movie contains possibly the most horrible image I've ever seen in a dramatic movie. Audition? Irreversible? Inside? Whatever taboo-breaking Europanese thing is hip right now? None of that shit is as world-stoppingly awful as seeing what happens here in a maternity ward. That it was probably intended as just another eew, gross moment in a movie that has a few eew, gross moments only makes it worse. And goddammit, any horror movie that shows me something that awful has got to be doing something right.

We do get a short look, very early on, at what I assume is the Predator homeworld, and it inspires in me the kinds of questions I always ask whenever I see the the Klingon homeworld, or the homeworld of any fictitious alien civilization which has exactly three words and a hyphen to define them (“Honour-bound warriors!” “Trophy-seeking hunters!”): where are the Predator architects? The Predator construction workers, the Predator mechanics and refinery workers and artists and plumbers and pavers? I'm sure they have these things, because they HAVE TO, but it's to this series' detriment that the Predators are shown in such a singular, brain-dead light that I can't even imagine these things without giggling.

Back here on earth, the small-town setting gives this movie a tasty little something that its predecessors lack: it's the only Aliens movie where its human characters aren't generally aware that being killed, impregnated, or torn apart by an Alien is a near-future possibility. This movie has a lot of people whose last thoughts are some variant of WHAT THE FUCK.

Bicentennial Man (1999)

Williams/Columbus Engage Smith/Proyas In An Asimov Rape-Off

Isaac Asimov didn't like sci-fi movies, dismissing them as showcases for scenes of destruction – and it's hard not to see what he meant, looking upon the sci-fi movies prior to his death and since. Oh, how he would roll in his grave if he knew Roland Emmerich was supposedly attached to film the Foundation story.

For all of its crimes, Bicentennial Man is perfectly innocent of this accusation. The only thing you'll see destroyed here is Asimov's delicate, necrotic sphincter as Chris Columbus and Robin Williams take turns plunging their dicks into it. What we're basically asked to accept in this movie is to watch Robin Williams make the journey from servile automaton to somebody who gets away with farting in bed with Embeth Davidtz.

Sam Neill, for a while anyway, brings the dignity of a father being patient with an intensely curious child to a role of the patriarch of a "not too distant future" (2005) family, which purchases a robot butler, Andrew. We learn that such robot butlers are not so uncommon among the moneyed, though I'm already feeling a little uncomfortable about this arrangement, not because of any possibility of household kill-bottery (I can trust the Three Laws at least that much) but because it seems like a gimme that at least one kid is gonna form a weird, unhealthy attachment to the 'bot that a human butler would at least recognize as weird and unhealthy. Dad attemptes to explain the finer points of the human experience in fireside chats, which allow Williams to do his...thing.

37 minutes in, things start looking like they might be getting interesting. It flash-forwards a number of years – I don't know how many, but Embeth Davidtz plays the younger sister and she was at least 33 at the time of filming - and this remarkably tolerant family has allowed Andrew to accumulate a vast collection of grandfather clocks that BONG BONG BONG every hour, driving mom to drink. That shit would drive me to dry up crack babies and smoke them.

Too bad this is kicked to the shit curb 38 minutes in when suddenly dad is all like, "He's only a machine!" Neill spends the remainder of his scenes bouncing between attitudes about Andrew's sentience, to say nothing of his own ("What floor are we on here?" What the fuck, what button did you press in the elevator?!?!?).

We hear how Andrew is an older model...and then it flash-forwards another dozen years, and Davidtz has her own bratty kids with her almost entirely unseen husband (Asimov certainly didn't shy away from the possibilities of human/robot sexual coupling) and I still have no idea how this world works with its robots. Neill is doing crosswords on an iphone the size of a VCR.

Andrew's apparently been making a fortune from his art. How does the art world receive him? How does the scientific community regard an attemptedly artful machine? Where are the new-generation robots? Where's the non-robot artificial intelligence?

In the movie's most agonizing scene yet, the screenwriters don't even appear to know what a "mutation" is. Later, Andrew sullenly takes the inability of Embeth's granddaughter (also played by Embeth) to emotionally attach herself to a machine as "a genetic trait" – what, has the rest of humanity been humping his leg all this time?

Andrew searches for more of his own kind for ten years. How far has android technology come in this like...fifty years since the beginning of the movie? Nowhere, androids have fallen out of fashion. Out of fashion, what the fuck?!? He finally finds other models like his own. They're either dead, or idiots. He finds a girl version. She has robo-tits, and nobody pays any mind when a forty-year-old robot chick dances around in public to a loudly blasted recording of Aretha Franklin. She's an idiot (the robot, not Aretha). What made Andrew so special? I'm sure the secret ingredient was love.

It's 82 minutes before we see anything that suggests to us that we've gone into the future. 91 minutes in and it occurs to me, this is the first brown person I've seen in this whole movie. She's singing for the entertainment of a bunch of white people. 104 minutes in Andrew excitedly claims he's always been fascinated by human sexual processes, despite showing no evidence of that previously in the movie.

When he is upgraded to be able to taste things, he immediately perceives certain foods as "wonderful" and "marvellous". There's nothing that tastes like shit to him. So what value has his sense of taste? The chief speaker of the One World Goverment or whatever is flanked by Canada and Portugal. Call me snooty if you will, but Canada, I can see; we're nothing if not so all-inclusive of others that we're still bickering about whether we even have our own identity. But Portugal? Bullshit man, the Portuguese are the gold medallists of the douchebag olympics. Just ask any Portuguese guy.

It ends with one of those scenes that extols Robin Williams's heartwarming awesomeness to the strains of James Horner's heartstring-tugging strings. It even follows that up with some sorta Celine Dion-sounding song. WAIT, it actually is Celine Dion, fuck you world, obviously you hate the two-legged plague that walks your surface.

The bottom line with this movie, aside from the expected hand-wringing about Williams's mugging and Columbus's...being all Columbus (there's a scene where idiot-bot sings "If I Only Had A Heart"), is that this was all done in Star Trek: The Next Generation already and it was bullshit then too. An android that doesn't explore the limits of being as awesome an android as it can be before wanting to be a Real Boy is an android I'd ask for a refund over.

Okay, this is looking pretty official now.

Jeez, this kicks livejournal right in the dick. Either that or I'm easily impressed within a very short amount of time by free webhosts that require a minimum of effort to get your shit online (probably why I was with geocities for 11 years). If you have a compelling argument to sway me over to another blog site, send it on, but right now this is looking like the place!

Some history for the uninitiated:

The Cavalcade Of Schlock started in 1998-ish when I didn't even really know I was writing movie reviews. At the start, I was just writing posts on the alt.horror newsgroup detailing why I wasn't enjoying the movies that the newsgroup's regular posters were regularly hailing as classics. Basically, it was me bitching.

Soon this had happened often enough that it seemed like a good idea to compile all these posts in one place, and thus the COS was born.

This was quite the snazzy novelty at the time - remember, this was back when the internet consisted of six guys with tin cans and string - and it was helped by my being cheerfully prolific, watching and writing about four movies a day for months on end (probably had something to do with my best friend at the time being some guy named Captain Morgan...and where the fuck is he now?!?). Over the next whole buncha years I drifted away from the newsgroup, as my pop-culture interests looked to a more all-genre inclusive appreciation of movies, but also music, comics, strippers, neighbour-killing, whatever - but I kept posting, if increasingly infrequently (for which my sanity is grateful), to the COS. This went on until October 2009 when apparently geocities called it quits, and I found myself having to rescue about a thousand movie reviews from cyber-oblivion. I am of mixed feelings about this; about 80% of these, I can't even read without cringing a little. But, they're an honest representation of my thoughts at the time, and I'd rather be honest than try to retroactively correct my thoughts about anything.

Another aspect of the Calvalcade was the "horrormetal" section, where I compiled a fairly vast trove of samples used in metal music, linking them to their original sources - which was, to my knowledge, the only resource of its kind for a while. How many of us can say that? Fucking me and no one else, that's who. But I didn't really have a lasting interest in it; the problem was, I got a ton of emails from people listing the samples they'd heard in songs by bands I'd never heard of and had no interest in. This is the kind of thing that would work best in a wiki-style user-edited database. I haven't rescued all that information from the archives yet, but that endeavour is in hand.

Now that the Cavalcade Of Schlock has found its new home, this is what you can expect:

-Smaller, but more regular updates. I won't wait until I have a dozen reviews up to post - if I have one, I'll throw that up there once it's done.

-More interaction between me and you, the reader. I've been pretty much shit when it comes to answering my emails - and that's honestly not going to change, because my hotmail account has always largely been used as a spam sink and not something I attach to the really important shit. My reviews were originally intended as a starting point for discussion about the movie I was writing about, and that's what I want them to be. You want to comment, please comment! Just leave a consistent name, even a made-up one, I don't want everything to come from one "anonymous" after another.

-The occasional bit of non-review bullshit. Once in a while I'm probably going to want to ramble on about some sort of thing that's tickling/bothering/arousing/stabbing me that day.

-The horrormetal thing is done, for me anyway. If somebody wants to take it over, get in touch with me.

-"Classic" reviews - the ones from the geocities days - will be reproduced verbatim, over time. If I can scarcely live with myself for having written them, I'll mention that in a comment.

That's all I've got for now. New reviews will be coming, and I've gotta alter tyrannorabbit.com to redirect to here instead of the now-dead geocities, but this is the Cavalcade Of Schlock's new home. Hope you enjoy it. And thank you for reading all this time.

Post one, test post!

Just comparing this versus livejournal. Whichever one I like working with more, gets to be the new home.